ANNOYING HUSBAND

Meet Tiffanie Wong. She has an annoying husband. Everything about him annoys her- from leaving a post-shaving mess in the sink to his love of fart jokes. Yet it's okay, because she has a nice blog where she can vent about how annoying her husband is while the rest of us let it bother us to the point of divorce. Yet it's hilarious. Read, but be prepared to see yourself in some of the scenarios- she has a tendency to hit close to home.

  
My husband and I have two cars. There is generally one that I drive and one that he drives but sometimes we trade off depending on who is taking care of our daughter that day or who needs the bigger car. There is one thing that pretty much never changes, though. No matter which car I use, my husband has almost always left it without gas. You would think that by now I’d have learned to build a little extra time in my day to take the car that he left without gas and fill it up but for some reason it always surprises me. This morning I had to take the car that he has been using so I could drive our kid to school. We were running late and of course, this is what greeted me:


My husband has a habit of shoving a million things in his pockets and leaving them there. Tissues, receipts, pens, change and more tissues. The amount of tissues my husband goes through on a daily basis is enough to keep Kleenex in business for a long, long time. He likes to wad up the tissues and store them in his pockets so they can be easily accessible whenever he needs them. Listen, I’m not going to complain about my husband having all kinds of sinus issues and needing to blow his nose all the time. (But the snoring the sinus issues cause? Well, that is something I will complain about…and often do.) The problem is that he never empties his pockets before he throws his pants or shorts into the hamper. Ever. And because I always do, I’m just not in the habit of checking pockets before I put the clothes in the washer. I usually end up regretting that oversight because when the load is done and I go to take the clothes out, what I usually end up seeing is a washing machine full of shreds of tissue. Seriously, everywhere and on every piece of clothing in there. I then attempt to shake off all the clothes before I put them in the dryer but usually end up missing some shreds and also forget to recheck all the pockets for tissue remnants so when the clothes are done, they have even more tissue fragments adhered to them. This is how our hamper of clean, just-out-of-the-dryer clothes looks: